Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Matt Sanchez Throws a Big Gay Bitchfit

Mexican gay porn sensation Matt Sanchez, who appeared in titles such as Touched by an Anal and Beat-off Frenzy, spent most of his early adult years pounding the daylights out of other men with his gigantic chorizo in very low budget adult films. He did this over and over until one day he realized he could make money by going on television and making nonsensical statements as an ill-tempered conservative pundit just like his idol Ann Coulter who also used to moonlight in the adult industry under the moniker "John Holmes".

So, it was no surprise when this former gay-for-pay Matt Sanchez lashed out at Barack HUSSEIN! Obama today in an op-ed piece for something called a "World Net Daily", because of Obama's notoriously tolerant approach to these immoral gays and their constant whining about equal rights.

First of all, Mr. Sanchez doesn't appreciate Barack Obama just stomping in and legalizing gay marriage in California, because almost 60% of the Hollywood Liberals there do not even believe in that sort of thing. Matt says it is completely ludicrous to think two men could even have a monogamous relationship because out of all the tens of thousands of men that have paid him for sex, not a single one of them has ever asked for his hand in marriage.

Lastly, Sanchez opines that if Obama is elected President we are going to become the laughing stock of the whole world (even in Moldova?) because he plans to repeal "don't ask, don't tell" which will automatically turn the entire U.S. Armed Forces into a bunch of bitchy queens prancing around all giddy while in uniform. Which is exactly what the gay agenda wants!


Muscato said...

Oh Noes! He's discovered our supersecret plot to undermine All That is Sacred! Damn that big-chorizoed crimefighter!

(Muscato, on behalf of all America's limpwristed Pinkos)

Marta said...

Thanks for writing this.