Wednesday, May 28, 2008

John McCain Will Say Stupid Things for All Eternity

Oh hey guys! Did you know that last week while speaking to a bunch of Cuban assholes in Miami, candidato presidencial Juan McCain made an idiotic statement before hopping onto his private luxury jet, the infamous Straight Talk UltraAir-Express, to head back to his billionaire wife's expansive McMansion in the wealthiest part of the shitty Arizona hellscape to entertain all the foppish darlings of the Republican Party? And oh boy, did he ever!

Here is the very best part of Presidente McCain's glorious speech that he gave before jaunting off to his 154th Annual Sedona National GOP Rich People Circle Jerk & BBQ for the Betterment of Possible Vice-Presidential Pricks. Most of it was boring as hell, so I've clipped and highlighted the important part for your dirty Hispanic pleasure(s):

"We have made progress toward this vision by expanding the benefits of free commerce, through [the North American Free Trade Agreement], the Central American Free Trade Agreement, and our free trade agreements with Peru and Chile. But the progress has stalled; our longstanding bipartisan commitment to hemispheric prosperity is crumbling. We see this most vividly in Barack Obama’s and Hillary Clinton’s opposition to the free trade agreement with Colombia. The failure of Congress to take up and approve this agreement is a reminder why 80 percent of Americans think we are on the wrong track."

Well gee John, thanks for clearing all that up! And here all these aloof liberals have been brainwashed into thinking these low approval ratings had something to do with the unending clusterfuck of wasted time, money, and human life known as the Iraq War. Oh, and the fact that the economy is in the shitter doing an enthusiastic free fall at warp speed.

But instead Mr. McCain, thanks to you, now we know the actual reason for this Congressional disapproval is really because the average American is just yearning for a brand new motherfucking free trade agreement.

Thank you John McCain! You patriotic bastard!

1 comment:

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