Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Some Facts About Mormons

Aside from being whitebread, bike riding cultists that breed incessantly, here are some other interesting things about Mormons that you might like to know:

- Mormons are actually Satanic Freemasons

- Mormons wear strange, ritualistic underwear

- Mormons are a bunch of kid-fucking sex perverts

- John Heder, Ricky Schroder, Wilford Brimley!!!

Plus, they're all totally racist. Now, I know I accuse alot of people of being racist (because they are!), but the Holy Bible of Mormonisms says the most pure people are "white and delightsome". That's because Joseph Smith was a straight up motherfucking bigot! Plus they think that black people can only become pure if they breed if with other white people.

Now, I have no idea (I didn't care enough to research) how they explain all the varieties of brown people, but I did notice that Mormons have no definitions for the Asian, most likely because (as most people all ready know) the Asians descended from highly efficient alien robots, not God.

Seriously though, thumb through the odd Mormon "bible" sometime. You'll be all like....Oh. Weird. Weird. Racist. Weird. Boring. Racist. Racist. Weird. Boring....and then you'll be all "WTF!" and shut the book. Yeah. Here's a needlessly cheap video clip from the eighties as well.

1 comment:

The Grand ChaHee said...

You forgot to say how HOT they are!