Sunday, September 30, 2007

Alan Keyes Still Isn't Done Losing Elections

I had no idea Alan Keyes was running for something again, but to my surprise when I tuned into the Republican debate the other night there he was on the stage. I kind of had to squint my eyes before saying to myself, "What the hell is Alan Keyes doing up on stage?"

Alan Keyes is a consistent man. He consistently loses any election he runs for. He also consistently says and does things that make him look like a total jackass. Things such as: (cue bullet points)

  • Saying prison is a good place for black men to get an education

  • Said welfare to the poor has destroyed the black family

  • Claimed that gay marriage would promote incest

  • Called Dick Cheney's lesbian daugher a "selfish hedonist". Ironically, his own daughter Maya is a lesbian (he has since disowned her, but said he still loves her even though she's going to hell)

  • Said that God caused 9/11, because of abortion

  • Blamed the fact that nobody would vote for him on the media

As a gesture of goodwill towards the mentally ill, I've decided to help him out a little with a few bumper stickers to help give his campaign some much needed visibility. No thanks necessary. Just doing my patriotic duty.


Crystal Clear said...

I knew this dude was an uncle tom, but I had no idea he was pro apartheid!

Anonymous said...

bumperstickers. always a good plan.