Thursday, July 31, 2008

Post#100: On Vanity Fair

In America there exists a terrible fashion magazine called "Vanity Fair". It is a sad rag no one ever reads unless Martha Stewart is prattling on about the homemade shanks she made while serving hard time at Camp Cupcake or if they have willowy naked gals on the cover (which they do every three months).

You can often find this fashion magazine languishing around unread in places such as vericose vein removal boutiques and sometimes at the more upscale Korean nail salons. Their most recent claim to fame was the photo of a dazed Miley Cyrus after she had been viciously date raped by Annie Liebowitz.

Now Vanity Fair is creeping people out all anew after just releasing their "International Best Dressed List". OMG this list is a Hot Fucking Mess. Michelle HUSSEIN! Obama came in second for chrissakes! And do you know why she made the list? Because of that awful purple dress she wears almost every single day, that's why!

Thankfully they didn't re-run a picture of that damn thing. Instead, they substituted with a photo of Michelle in a very pretty, flowing black number accessorized with a big necklace of opulent Janjaweed blood diamonds.

The worst part, however, was not Michelle O. and the purple dress that will not die. No, the worst part was waiting at #17 on the list: Count Manfredi Della Gherardesca (pictured above).

Let's take a look at his nice blazer, shall we? It's pink velvet with an orange floral batik pattern! Holy Jesus Christ, is that ever gay? When he's lounging around at home he likes to dance around in front of the mirror in this fancy blazer with some six inch come-fuck-me pumps and a sassy skirt with little print appliques of Richard Simmons finger-fucking himself in various positions. Because he is that gay.

Don't ever buy a Vanity Fair magazine. [ Vanity Fair ]

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