Friday, August 31, 2007

Ted Haggard Had a Shitty Week

Remember Ted Haggard? He's the anti-gay Republican preacher that ran the New Life mega-church that also liked to snort meth while getting fucked by a gay hooker once a month for three years. Then he went off to dick rehab and came out 23 days later totally hetero again. Well, it seems he's pissed off a bunch of Evangelofascists again. Here's how it went down:

I guess Ted is going broke, so he sent out a press release urging his followers to send him monthly payments for the next two years so he could earn a degree while counselling people at a place called Dream Center. He said anyone that sent him money would surely be "rewarded in Heaven" and told them to send their donations to him through a non-profit organization called Families with a Mission.

Well, then a few things went awry. First, New Life, his former employer released a statement saying that Ted pandering for donations was a violation of the agreement he signed when he left. Then, Dream Center said it never had any intentions on hiring Ted and never told him anything to that effect. And last, but certainly not least, it came to light that Families with a Mission, the non-profit organization Ted was to have his donations funnelled through, was actually ran by a twice convicted sex offender and lost it's non-profit status months ago. Oops!

Well Ted, I dunno... I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for those donations if I were you. I don't think Christians will be too eager to send cash to a lying former meth-homo that hangs out with sex offenders. Maybe you could get a job as a Restroom Attendent at an airport or city park? I hear it's a great way to meet influential people these days.

1 comment:

Observer said...

Dont be too sure i am sure his mail is full of cheques now.

All his closet-homo evangelical friends and followers must be rallying BEHIND him.