From the Bureau of Mexican Handouts

With Hurricane Dean approaching Mexico, The Decider has assured Felipe Calderon that our wallets would be open and accessible to them even more than it was pre-Dean. "We stand ready to help," said Bush. And by "we", he really means the American taxpayers, not just him, Laura, and Condi.

This is the only fair thing to do since Mexico was such a huge part of the recovery effort of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. After all, they did loan us a couple of boats patrolled by Mexicans that actually returned home when they were done. So, the least we could do is give them a shitload of money that ultimately won't go to the people who need it anyway. Cuz that's how we roll.....it's called the American Way.

He also went on to say, "The American people care a lot about the human condition" and "when we see human suffering we want to do what we can." *

* To qualify for Bush's federal sympathy program you must be a sovereign entity willing to either overlook, ignore, or agree with U.S. foreign policy, and/or represent the economic or military interests of corrupt leaders/political parties. Middle Eastern nations, except for Israel, are exempt by default and all references to "the human condition" and "human suffering" in their region will hereby be referred to as "victory" or "collateral damage".