Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Drinking for the Betterment of America

I hope these two selfish candidates realize that America will be missing the Project Runway finale to watch them argue for an hour and a half. Tonight is supposedly about "domestic policy", but we all know they're just going to bitch at each other about the bailout and the surge, like always.

So, since tonight is the last night that we can use a Presidential Debate as a valid excuse for getting shitfaced, let's play a fun drinking game, eh?

Every time Barack Obama says "change", haughtily sip Tête de Cuvée from a crystal flute and then look down on everyone in the room with obvious disdain.

Every time John McCain says the surge worked, chug a beer and then ransack your neighbors house and demand that they hand over their weapons of mass destruction.

Every time Barack Obama denies something from his shady past, put on a burqa and then do a shot of something dark and exotic while reciting violent passages from the Quran.

Every time John McCain calls himself a maverick, drink something that has fermented in a barrel for about two hundred years until it turned into sour old vinegar. Then storm out of the room in a fit of rage.

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