Saturday, December 22, 2007

The War Against Christmas Rages On

Just the other day while I was in the express line at Wal-Mart picking up some ribbon candy and a Whitman's sampler, the cashier had the audacity to look me dead in the eye and tell me "Happy Holidays". One can only imagine the affront to my Christian sensibilities.

So, I politely explained to the young lady that saying Happy Holidays is something that only tramps, homosexuals, and people that worship false gods say to cover the shame of the fact that they will soon be roasting in the flames of Hell. I suggested that instead of saying Happy Holidays she should in fact rejoice and shout "Happy Birthday, Precious Baby Jesus!"

She smiled and nodded and then I noticed how brown she was. Oh, the poor dear was a Mexican! She probably didn't speak a lick of English except for the words Happy Holidays which I suspect had been taught to her by one of her (most likely atheist) superiors. I thought about asking to speak to her manager, but I was in a bit of a time crunch as I still had to go rent a donkey for the live Nativity scene we do annually at First Calvary. Sometimes as a Christian Soldier you have to choose your battles wisely.


mister calamity said...

i missing my punditry

Anonymous said... two are an ODD couple aren't you?