A Holiday Assortment of Various Tragedies

- College will turn your sweet little princess into a raging bulldyke [Townhall]

- Cynthia McKinney's pirate ship, the SS Moonbat, was viciously attacked by Jews [Michelle Malkin]

- Blago's Senate pick has built himself an opulent death palace, because black people are very haughty. [Wonkette]

- Why won't Barack Obama stop golfing and restore world peace? [Daily Mail]

- Dr. Freeper McWingnut wrote some dumb book about crazy liberals [WorldNetDaily]

Brave President Narrowly Dodges Islamic Terrorist Attack

Today an Iraqi insurgent committed a heinous Richard Reid-style shoe assault against Our Heroic President, George W. Bush, Jr. Also, Dana Perino was brutally punched in the eye with a microphone, just because.