Michelle Obama Terrorizes Colorado

Mountain-dwelling nomads from the remote western enclave of "Denver" were graced with the presence of Michelle HUSSEIN! Obama yesterday. They were so grateful to see someone so famously famous that they even put her picture on the front of their daily tri-fold brochure called the Rocky Mountain News! Unverified sources for the bureau report that they had originally planned on running a picture of hobos standing next to their McMansion with a foreclosure notice and the headline Could We Be Headed for a Recession? But then Michelle flew in and saved the day!

Accompanying the front page photo of Michelle flouncing into a large gas-guzzling SUV was an article in the "Style Matters" section chronicling Michelle O.'s sense of style matter. It was written by two fashion ladies and I hate to say it, but one of them had a very suspiciously Mexican sounding name: Evelinda.

I don't know, this Evelinda broad seemed very surly. She called Michelle non-descript and boring, said Michelle was certainly no Condi, and worst of all she called her handsome. Didn't they call Barbara Bush handsome?

I think Evelinda may have forgotten that not long ago, during the primary season, we all had to suffer through Michelle harumphing around the country in that goddamn purple Barney dress. So anything is a step up from that. I'm just saying... [Rocky Mountain News]