Why Do We Have to Let Everybody Vote?

In the Great American North there exists a frigid wasteland nearly abandoned decades ago, but still sparsely populated with enclaves of barbaric poor people, Eminem, and fearsome Laotian warriors that guard the last few remaining forests. The Natives call these glacial badlands "Mi-chi-gan".

Surprisingly, even though the Michigan Territory has devolved into a land of savage lawlessness, the inhabitants still participate in a symbolic gesture known as the voting process as witnessed by yesterday's primary. And guess who they all voted for? Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney! Ah Ha Ha! The Michigans are all so primitive and stupid.

I think it's fair to speculate that since RoboClinton has now won two state primaries she may have more time to devote to her other beloved pasttimes - like hunting for Sarah Connor!

As for Mitt Romney, who the hell really cares.