Democracy Will Ruin the World

I just wanted to start with a little something about this whole Michelle HUSSEIN! Obama thing. I'm feeling very conflicted after last night when her Islamic African husband, Imam Barack, was giving his historic speech to all the liberal elitists after trouncing that horrible robot Hillary Clinton in this neverending motherfucking election. Oh wow, that Barack sure is a brilliant orator, isn't he?

But then Michelle hauled her ass up on the stage and my bitter white heart melted because OMG she looked so pretty! She had on that fucking stupid eggplant number with the big gawdy belt that she likes to stomp across the country in. Her eyeshadow matched her dress and she was smiling so demurely. It was just nice to see her radiating something other than the usual contemptuous hatred for her fellow Americans that we normally see.

So now I'm so confused. I don't know who I'm going to vote for anymore. On one hand I feel like I should just make the obvious choice and write in Cindy McCain, because she's rich and pretty and WHITE! pretty. But nobody wants John as First Lady, because he is a decrepit hateful dwarf. And I can't vote for Barack Obama (even though he seems very nice) because I don't make nearly enough money. So, I guess there's only one person left for me to vote for:

Ron Paul 2008!!!