America, We Need to Have a Serious Discussion

We've all been bombarded with this media attention on the upcoming election, the war, the economy, and all the rest of it. But why is the media not reporting on the most crucial aspect of this election: which potential First Lady would we like better?

I think we all know it is not Michelle HUSSEIN Obama! Michelle Obama has toured the country extensively to browbeat middle class white people, telling them how unpatriotically ashamed she is and then barking her angry racist hate speech at them because GOD DAMN AMERIKKKA! She is a cruel and sadistic woman. Does America really want to see Michelle as First Lady flying off into one of her tirades in front of a bunch of foreign dignitaries? That question was kind of rhetorical, but I think we all know the answer is obviously yes no.

On the other hand, you have the lovely Mrs. Cindy McCain who has First Lady written all over her fantastically painted face and OMG she also co-hosted The View! Plus, after years of coping with John's verbal abuse she woefully turned to the pain pills. Yeah I know, who doesn't right? I like mine with a big bottle glass of wine! Anywho...Cindy McCain is rich and pretty and heavily medicated. If that's not a goddamn testament to the American Dream then I don't know what is.

So please America, this election don't vote Republican or Democrat or any of those other nonsensical third parties that make it on the ballot. Vote for who looks the best. Vote for who looks the best for America. Vote Cindy McCain in 2008!