I'm Late! I'm Late! For a CNN/YouTube Republican Debate!

• 7:35 - Walnuts promises to do everything right and activates the buzz word "pork"
• 7:36 - Rudy throws out "Ronald Reagan". How many times am I going to hear him and Mitt say "Ronald Fucking Reagan"?
• 7:38 - Fred Thompson responds to a question about limited government by mumbling some nonsensical bullshit
• 740 - OMG, Huckabee is totally biting on Ron Paul's schtick!
• 7:52 - Duncan Hunter has decided to use his international fame and influence to tell everyone to "Buy American". Gee, thanks a lot,Duncan!
• 7:53 - Fred Thompson doesn't know a motherfucking thing about his own campaign ads
• 7:54 - Mitt Romney used to think it was okay to kill babies, but now he's not as enthusiastic about it.
• 7:55 - Fred Thompson is drrrunk. He needs a bump!
• 8:02 - Rudy quotes statistics. I'm getting sleepy. Oh shit, Rudy just got booed on gun rights! I'm sorry people, if you can't pass a government issued exam then you are a stupid motherfucker and accordingly should have no basic rights (whatsoever!)
• 8:06 - Mitt Romney answers a question about inner city violence with a response about sexual predators?
• 8:09 - Mitt Romney has said a lot of things tonight, but I just want to know if he is wearing his Mormon underwear.
• 8:12 - Oh, Look! It's Fred Thompson stuttering about abortion. What an ogre!
• 8:15 - Yuckleberry says Jesus would never run for president
• 8:16 - Tancredo wishes Jesus would have the decency to kill all the goddamned Mexicans
• 8:17 - Rudy reads the fucking Bible like all the time...because it's allegorical
• 8:18 - Whoa, back up there, Mitt! Everybody knows that your Mormon "Bible" is not like the real "Bible" Bible
• 8:19 - Ah Hell, now it's Bible School time here (where's my drink?) with all the unimaginably Christian Republicans (public restrooms not included!)
• 8:25 - He did it! Rudy is finally getting to fawn over 9/11 and Islamic Terrorism. OMG, he's smiling!
• 8:29 - Mitt Romney will water board every single fucking one of you if that's what it takes!
• 8:34 - I guess Fred Thompson will just rant about anything....something about victory over the hip advertising of Islamofascism and high oil prices.
• 8:40 - Ding! Ding! Ding! Rudy just said "Reagan" and "9/11" in the same sentence. Rudy has now said 9/11 four times in sixty seconds. It's called patriotism, people!
• 8:42 - Fred Thompson + A question on the power of the Vice-President = Complete redneck gibberish that makes no fucking sense
• 8:44 - What? Oh, Duncan Hunter does not have a campaign ad! Now CNN is just fucking with everybody...
• 8:52 - This is a Republican debate, so things are (naturally) getting a little gay. Typical.
• 9:0? - Yuckleberry just tried to reach out to the black community by calling them all diabetic, HIV+, hypertensive, poor people. Not cool, Yuckleberry! What a dick.
• 9:08 - Ron Paul has more money and more fans than poor Walnuts....Walnuts sad :'(
• 9:12 - Oh, I wish this bottle of wine wasn't empty!